I hope this finds you well. It has been so long since I heard from you. Or you heard something through me, to be accurate. I am writing this from exactly where you left me – the dusty old corner of your drawer, where all the old batteries from remote controls and broken charging cables come to die. Us residents of the drawer like to call it the Castle of the Tangled, because wires, you know. And old habits die hard. Get it? Wires? Tangling? I am sure you do. I sometimes wonder where did I go wrong. From hugging your ears for more hours than I could count to lying here with cables that are taking their last breaths. How did this happen? How did we get here? Was the elimination of the 3.5 mm audio jack by some God(phone) the last nail in my coffin? These questions often keep me awake at night. Because hey, I have no fancy sleep mode.
But I do not think it was me. After all, I did not stop working. You could pick me up, plug me in and hear for yourself right now. I still work absolutely fine. But I guess that just was not enough. You can stop fooling both of us when you say it was about better audio quality because let’s face it, I sound noticeably better than most of your wireless little flings. And it definitely could not have been my forever tangling wires. The sheer simplicity of use that my wires brought along, even on their worst days, is nothing compared to the tedious pairing processes that most wireless earbuds come with. Don’t tell me you don’t miss the good ol’ days when you could just take me out of your pocket, plug me into that nice little 3.5 mm audio jack, without having to worry about pressing tiny buttons, waiting for little LED lights to blink in the right color and downloading companion apps. It certainly was not because I did not get along with your gadget friends, because God knows they loved me. I rocked with anyone that had a 3.5 mm audio jack. And most of them did and in fact, most of them still do. Whether it was your smartphones, laptops, music players, tablets, console or desktop computers, I almost never had compatibility issues. I am the “Plug and Play” OG. Something you can not say about your new age wireless friends, some of whom turn their noses up at some platforms. Tell me one thing: did you really have to go ahead and complicate your life even further by adding one more device that has to be charged? One more device whose battery status you have to keep checking through the day? I, on the other hand, almost never needed a battery of my own. I just needed your gadget friends to have enough. And before I forget, I did not need a fancy case to charge my buds or carry me around. I was humble enough to let you bunch-up my wires without any complaints. You could toss me in any bag or pocket, while your truly wireless buddies would be truly lost without their own case. Money was never an issue either. If anything, I was and am remarkably more affordable or what they call these days– low maintenance, as compared to your wireless buddies. Not to toot my own horn, but I can deliver better sound than any wireless audio wannabe out there that costs as much as I do. And often better than some that cost much more! No, it was never about performance, functionality, quality or even affordability. You were just too damn eager to get on the wireless bandwagon. All because you think it made you look cool. And honestly, I do not blame you for it. Even my own parents pushed me to the back seat, and can now only speak about my shiny new wireless siblings. This is why they are out there, speaking in your ears, while I am sitting here counting my days, hoping you would remember me sometime and need me again.
Which earphones you want to use is completely your call. But what hurt me the most was the fact that I never even crossed your mind simply because I was not fancy enough. All so sadly superficial, isn’t it? But at the end of the day, it is not my loss. I still work brilliantly, I still am more affordable, simple and easier to use. Yes, mobility might not be my greatest friend but I more than compensate for it in terms of sheer sound quality and ease of use. And if you do not believe me, then go ahead and check out what the audiophiles and the folks in the professional setups use. I might not be cool, I might not be hyped, and there might be efforts underway to completely get rid of my (3.5mm) port of call but my wires are very much alive. I am sorry it did not work out between us. But to be honest, I am sadder for you than for myself. Yours (regrettably so), Wired Earphones.
